


i know youre scared, but i love you and i want you to know you dont have to be scared.

by tiredandmaniacal



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Fluff, John's a good friend, M/M, Mutant AU!, This is really angsty and edgy, and we have happiness, got all that unnecessary teen bullshit out of my system, i hurt smitty so much, im sorry, not between the two but like in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-07 23:36:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14092203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiredandmaniacal/pseuds/tiredandmaniacal
Summary: Smitty's always had the weight of the past on his shoulders, it's what gave him the thing that now, apparently, defines him.He hates it, so, so much.John's always there to take that weight, and hate, off his shoulders for at least a little while, and it's the only thing Smitty can really count on anymore.Smitty doesn't know what he'd do without John.





	i know youre scared, but i love you and i want you to know you dont have to be scared.

**Author's Note:**

> Mutant AU!  
> John can control smoke, mist, fog, etc.  
> Smitty can turn himself invisible, alongside a long traumatic backstory that won't be elaborated on, fortunately. 
> 
> (very charles xavier's school for the gifted-esque)

* * *

 

John lay there, staring at the roof of his room blankly before dropping the vape next to him, letting the smoke slip past barely parted lips. He sighs, toying with the particles in the air effortlessly; he found it funny, actually, as to how his mutation had shaped him, how it had turned out to be so fitting. John had figured it out at a pretty young age, a lot of people around him had the tendency to smoke, and in a moment of trying to wave it away, he'd blown it all back in the face of this unnamed person...well, Dad, probably, but unnamed person. Even at that age, which was probably around 10, he'd known what a mutant was and how much of a terrifying prospect this was, not very well, but vaguely. He never told his parents, nor did they find out.

He did fuck around with it in the privacy of his room though, I mean how couldn't he have? Finding out you can manipulate shit? Kind of cool. It was also a wonderful tool in helping hide the sparse stress-cigarette or two he'd come to fall into the habit of, later on.

John sits up, grabbing the vape to drop it on the bedside table carelessly, and in a subconscious habit, he brushes the accumulated smoke over the area near his doorway. There's a distortion to it, in the form of a person. John lets the smoke disperse.

"Hey," John hums, smiling gently as the beloved meme himself, Smitty, appears in place of what was once nothing. John's happiness to see him morphs into concern as he notices how Smitty stares at the wall, looking like no more than a husk of a teenager. "Smit?" John asks, eyebrows furrowed. The younger boy's eyes meet his for only a fraction of a second. John purses his lips a moment, pushing himself up and off the bed to walk over, taking a seat a comfortable distance in front of Smitty, who now had his knees pulled to his chest. "Smit..? Wanna talk about it?" John asks, his voice quiet, careful not to disturb him. The question earns him a shake of his head that's so subtle it's almost missed. "Do you wanna come sit on the bed?" John asks, because it really can't be comfortable on the floor like that. He holds out a hand that's taken without hesitation, letting the other pull him to stand up gingerly.

John visibly hesitates in letting go, before getting himself situated on the bed, sat against the headboard, before he lightly pats the space next to him with a lopsided smile. Smitty would laugh if he could bring himself too. 

Smitty takes the invitation to sit, John moving his arm so that he could get comfortable, cuddled against him. He rests an arm around Smitty's shoulders, rubbing his arm gently. It was silent, their out of sync breathing almost,  _almost_ , inaudible. John truly had no idea why Smitty had always come to him, and especially unsure of the why, when and how of the routine that had developed; Smitty using him as a big teddy bear as he comforted him. Not that he minded, he has the biggest soft spot for Smitty (not that he'll admit it out loud), more than happy to know he could help even a little.

It was never mentioned afterwards, maybe a small, out of character, soft little smile from him, but otherwise, nothing. Smitty was an outgoing person, loud and funny, everyone adored him. The meme loving idiot single-handedly managed to revive 'yeet' in the school campus. He has it written on a post-it note on the wall in his room, needless to say, he is...beyond proud of it.

When the two had started hanging out, just the two of them - not the other dipshits that'd probably destroy the entire ~~continent~~ school on  _accident -_  he'd come to notice that Smitty was quieter, an almost unnoticeable amount, but quieter nonetheless. He'd also come to notice that Smitty was a very deceptively secretive person; you'd never realise you didn't actually know anything about him until someone had asked you. Over the time that John had gotten to know him, he'd learnt more about him that anyone else, not that he prodded. Smitty had truly started to open up to him, admitting to trusting him, actually, and while there have been many a case where people have sort of leaned into trusting him and his personality, this wasn't a thoughtless, instinctive trust, Smitty truly trusted him.

It was easy to tell Smitty wasn't someone who'd blindly trust anybody, he had a lot of baggage, which did include lots of trust issues.

Once Smitty started to talk, he kept going, and going, and John would  _melt_ , it was so cute how he went on, smiling and chuckling and snorting as he talked about whatever he was passionate about, or the very few happy memories he'd shared. John was more than happy to listen to him gush.

Though, he swore he could feel his heart strings being harshly tugged at when Smitty would suddenly cut himself off, hands over his mouth, sounding choked up as he squeaked out an apology, desperately trying to avoid any eye contact with him. Smitty obviously hated himself for going on tangents, and John hated that he couldn't do more than hug him and tell him that it was okay. Smitty had gotten better about it, for lack of a better term, obviously he hadn't completely get over it, he probably never would, but now he'd simply either apologise profusely or laugh with blush feathered cheeks, apologise once and ask John about literally anything else. Sometimes, he'd have moments where he'd trail off, become distant, quiet, completely zoned out, and John would tell stupid stories with very obvious jabs at their friends (which he, again, would  _ **never**_ admit out loud), earning these small smiles that were so fucking adorable on him that he couldn't get it out of his head for...ever, probably. 

Smitty suddenly shifts, tensing up almost harshly, snapping John out of his own thoughts, and suddenly the smaller boy was sat on his lap, arms tight around his neck while Smitty started to sniffle, face buried in his shoulder. John wraps his arms around his torso, pulling him close, rubbing circles into the small of his back as he mumbles small reassurances to him. 

"Hey, Smitty. It's okay, you're okay, everything's okay, I'm here," he murmurs against his hair, kissing the top of his head. Smitty fists a hand in his shirt.

"Fuck, I... _Fuck_ , John it's too much, I- it's- everything is too fucking much," he chokes on his own words, stuttering and hiccuping, his voice cracking through it all. John, there and then, swears to every goddamn God out there that whoever did this to  _his fucking **Smitty**_ will die a slow, painful death. John's heart shattered just hearing him this broken up. It also occurs to John that he might commit homicide for this boy...he'll do fucking  _anything_ for this boy.

"I know, Smit," John says, only for Smitty to pull away, very careful as to not make it seem like it was John that did anything wrong, because he really didn't. He wipes his cheeks quickly and carelessly with his sleeves, sniffling as he shakes his head.

"You...You don't, John," he says, voice cracking before he chokes out a sob. "You really, really don't," Smitty says, cupping John's face in his hands, brushing the pads of his thumbs over impossibly smooth skin. John takes a shaky breath, Smitty's hands falling from his face, only for John to cup Smitty's face in his hands, wiping away the tears on cheeks gently, the cold metal of the rings that John wore against his face felt foreign.

"You're right, I don't. I have absolutely no fucking idea, Smit, but what I do know is that I am  _here_ , for you," John says, with every little bit of emotion he could muster, to which Smitty lets another sob fall from his lips, covering his mouth as more tears spill from his eyes for John to brush away. "I am always,  _always_ ,  ** _always_** , here for you, Smitty, I need you to know that," John says, smiling sweetly, feeling himself getting a little choked up. "Okay?"

Smitty feels John's hands fall to his shoulders, and he can only really stare, starry eyed. He can't help himself, arms around John's neck as he leans in, lips meeting John's halfway- or, well, Smitty  _fell_ into it more than he leaned into it, but hey, details, details.

One of John's hands move to Smitty's neck, gentle, and in a way that had Smitty flinching, only to relax. This was John. John was going to keep him safe. John was here to keep him safe. John pulls Smitty closer, both of them moving with each other, sort of clumsily, in that dumb-love sort of way. He moves to kiss away a few tears before kissing Smitty again, hard and soft at the same time, both of them trying to pull each other closer than physically possible at this point.

They sat there for who knows how long, completely enveloped by both the thought and presence of each other, every other thought pushed so far into the back of their minds it may as well have not existed. Smitty's arms thrown carelessly around John's neck, one hand twining into blond hair, while John's arms sat comfortable around Smitty's torso.

They were so caught up in each other, so stupidly, completely, utterly lost and in love.

"John," Smitty breathes, both of them pausing as they pull away, an awkward string of saliva still connecting their mouths. Smitty wipes it off with his shirt sleeve, before both of them start to smile, John simply pecking his lips before pulling him to lay down next to him, laughter bubbling in their stomachs. Then it's quiet, peaceful, comfortable silence, Smitty humming something John doesn't recognise.

"John, what  _is_ your sexuality? I mean," Smitty trails off, intertwining his fingers with the hand slung over his shoulder. "Either you've never mentioned it or I missed it," Smitty hums, resting his head against John's shoulder.

"You," John hums, smiling like a dork because he knows how cheesy it is and he's proud of it. Smitty snorts, which evolved into laughter again, which caused John to start laughing. 

"Aw, I feel loved," Smitty says, still chuckling as he kisses John's hand gently.

"Good," John murmurs, placing a kiss to Smitty's temple. "I..." John starts, only to bite his tongue, Smitty turning to look at him in curiosity. "I love you, Smitty." John watches the red spread out across Smitty's cheeks, smiling.

"I love you too, John," Smitty says, his voice quiet, almost a whisper before he moves to kiss him, having to move, now straddling John, who places a hand under his head, not so subtly looking over Smitty as he takes in the fact that he is on top of him.

"You comfortable there?" He teases, only for Smitty to snap back without a second thought.

"Rings digging into the back of your head yet?" He murmurs, an eyebrow raised as a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. John goes to protest, but, yeah, Smitty was right. He huffs, moving his arm to rest it on his chest.

"Shut up."

Smitty laughs, though is abruptly cut off as John flips them, placing gentle kisses to the smaller boy's neck while pulling his legs to his waist.

"John!" he squeaks, for John to stop only to laugh, kissing Smitty's flushed cheeks. "Stop!" Smitty giggles, fucking  _giggles_ , sending John  _reeling_ , kissing his cheeks nose, his eyelid at one point, and finally a long kiss to his lips.

"I fucking love you so much," he murmurs against his lips, Smitty wrapping his arms around the blond's neck.

"I love you too, you dork," he says, John resting on his forearms.

 

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i have a lot of feelings.


End file.
